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PostPosted on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:12 pm

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And it's TERRIBLE idea.

So this girl in my art class was drawing the tattoo that she's planning on getting this week. It's of her boyfriend's name. Her seriously emotionally abusive boyfriend whom she wont dump because our other dumbarse friends keep trying to convince her that he only gets crazy angry all the time because he loves her so much.
I'm not a big fan of anyone that would get their boyfriend or girlfriend's name tattooed onto themselves when they're only eighteen years old, but this is even worse because she was so close to finally telling him to eff off last week. Now she wants his name permanently written into her skin.

They were on the phone to each other in class a few times, and I can hear how he starts shouting at her every time he hears the slightest background noise because he thinks it's another guy and it almost makes me cry when he makes her cry and not just because I kind of fancy her because it reminds me of how my dad would talk to my mum.

She's also planning on running away from home and going back to Florida to live with him after she graduates. He already gets so angry with her over the phone, I don't even want to think about what might happen when their relationship isn't long distance anymore.

God, it's such a stupid idea, getting anyone's name permanently written on you, no less a boyfriend you've been with for only a year, and an arsehole at that.

PostPosted on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:17 pm

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You really need to pull her aside and talk with her. Explain that this kind of behavior isn't right, that she doesn't deserve it, and how terrible an idea this is.

That's all you really can do. If she's this dedicated to him, she either has a severe lack of basic reasoning or self destructive tendencies, and there's not much you can do to help her then... :butwhy:


PostPosted on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:56 pm

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You should never ever get your partner's name on you. Even if you're married.

She needs an intervention. Tell a teacher or talk to her yourself.
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PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:11 am

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She's a legal adult, and I don't want her to feel like I'm putting a bunch of pressure on her, which is what her boyfriend does. I just want to find a way to make her consider that this may not be a less than completely awful idea.

PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:48 am

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I'll never understand why anyone would stay in that kinda relationship, no matter how common it might be. The exception is if the person has some kinda emotional disorder, since that kinda stuff causes people to be irrational about things at times. Either way though, they need help, because that's not healthy.

I've had guys that got pushy and manipulative with me before. I ended those relationships myself because I had family problems growing up, so I know an asshole when I see one.
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PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:56 am

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☆ I think I want you to step on me with your pin heel

..... /facepalm.

No matter who the person, I definitely wouldn't get their name tattoo'd on my body permanently.

She really needs to take a step back and look at where her life is headed, and if she's really willing to be that miserable for the rest of her life because that's where her choices are leading her right now.

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PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:32 am

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Saphhie - My mum says that people who choose to stay in abusive relationships are partly at fault themselves for letting it happen. She was in an abusive relationship for over a decade, and she says that a lot of the time you can only admit that it was an unfair relationship after it's over.

The sad part is, abusers will always be abusive, and people who let themselves be pushed around will always let themselves get pushed around.

Cantarella - I actually see stupid tattoo ideas all the time in high school. One kid that I know wants to get 'Scrillex' (sp?) tattooed across his chest and I knew a kid in 9th year who had a massive arm tattoo of Jesus (who I swear to god was making an O face).
But god, I think that tattooing someone's name onto yourself is just about the worst idea ever, no matter who it's. Unless its your child or something, but even then, massive family fallouts can happen.
Last edited by Campbell on Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:36 am

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PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:37 am

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Ohgod. I read that one a while back on reddit.

That's some grade-A crazy right there.

PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:01 pm

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I love my boyfriend to death, but I'd never get his, or anyone else's name tatted on myself.Image

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PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:27 pm

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You'd think that after all the examples of people regretting tattoos of the names of former partners people would stop getting tattoos like that. She really needs someone to talk to her because it's only going to get worse for her. Though no one will really be able to truly help her until she's able to help herself.

People who end up in abusive relationships should not blame themselves or let other people say it was their fault. Abusers are manipulative and make it nearly impossible to leave without some type of repercussion. They have every right to be afraid to leave, and some develop Stockholm syndrome (which it sort of sounds like what this girl has, or she's always been oblivious). I'm not a psychologist so I'm just speaking from the few classes I've had and every case is different but I don't think it's right to blame the victim.

PostPosted on Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:01 pm

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Methnks it's teenage silliness telling people that they're never, ever going to separate from their 'boo'.

And I wasn't blaming her at all, no. I just meant that in certain kinds of abusive relationships, where standing up for yourself is possible, some people just can't stand up for themselves, and they often never will learn how to. It's sad and I'm not saying its her fault at all, just that she's not the kind of person who can tell him to leave her alone. The relationship is long distance, so fear is very unlikely to be a factor in stopping her from leaving. Or fear of violence is, anyway.

Abusive relationships can happen to anyone, but some people find themselves more easily caught in one because they either can't see when the abuse first starts, or don't say anything about it. It's just a facet of personality that is particularly unfortunate to have when it comes it to shit like this. :butwhy:

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